fast foward.

so lately all i’ve been posting are articles i’ve found entertaining and the like… so i dug deep, and on my way back from work i decided i should maybe answer everyone’s questions a bit better and in more detail. people are always asking the usual, “how do you like it”, “is it better than home”, “how long will you stay” and “what have you been doing lately”? so i thought i’d give it a go, and allow you to enter my world through at least the computer.

let’s start from the beginning a bit. when i first started working here, i took a job that kinda f’d me a bit. i trusted the wrong person and it turned out that it was better i just walk away. lesson learned, head held high. 

then i went home for Christmas and spent 3 weeks with the family. after i came back i was at a bit of a loss as to where to go. i was throwing around malaysia and a possible job offer there, as well as indonesia where i wouldn’t need a work permit. but then something happened… i went in and talked with a company on the island with a great reputation and got offered a job a few days later. they were in desperate need of instructors, and i was… well, in desperate need of a job. 

now let me say this, what you do with your first 6 months to a year of becoming a diving instructor is really important. if you pass your exams, pack up and go home, and continue working outside of the diving field, you might as well have never taken them in the first place. if you don’t use these skills and keep them fresh and up to date, no one will take a serious look at your CV if you have no experience or years in between. so, when i came back i was anxious to get a job and continue getting experience. i knew i needed at least 2 years of reliable experience from legit companies until i could start calling the shots on my future, and making more decisions. i was trying to make myself an asset. i still am.

fast forward to the present moment. i’ve been with PSC for almost 8 months now. and it has been the most rewarding/most challenging experience of my life. the first couple months i was dealing with break ins to my house, grandparents that weren’t doing to well, and an emotional roller coaster of hard work and what i felt at the time, under-appreciation from my new bosses. it took me about 3 months until reality set in, i just needed to grow up a bit. i had an attitude and i didn’t even realize it. i was working long hours with not much room for errors and it was frustrating me. but i refused to walk away and quit. i was keen on making this job “work” for me, instead of against me. i walked away from the last one for a good reason, but i didn’t want to walk away from another one.

then something happened, i slowly started to get the hang of myself. i started to take control of my life. i found a new place to live in that i looked forward to laying my head down every night. i started to work harder for my bosses, and in return they started appreciating me. see how that works? you get what you reflect. that much i do know. 

now we all get frustrated sometimes. the first few months of my new job i was crying at least once a week when i left work. now, i can suck it up and explain myself, instead of acting like a child who is embarrassed or pissed off. i’ve learned that sometimes you have to apologize and swallow your pride because it may make the other party happy, and at the end it’s worth the humility. now, i hate being wrong and i hate even more not making other people understand when i’m right and they’re wrong. but i’ve learned this year that i actually hate to argue. i don’t have the energy. i don’t feel the need to prove myself right and someone else wrong anymore. surprise, surprise. but i’m being honest here, i just want to be happy. and being happy means making other people happy too. being happy means compromise.

now i’m settled in quite nicely to my work environment, my bosses, my day to day and the people i spend my time with. and the answer to your questions is, YES. i do like it. i love it here! it’s really hard work and i think i could be happier somewhere else, but i’m putting in my time here so that in 6 months i can make a decision about my next move. and i’m making the most of it. i can now say that after 15 months of officially teaching as a PADI instructor, i’ve certified almost 80 people and conducted about 50 Discover Scuba Diving day programs. i’ve met people from all over the world, and taught diving to people that barely speak any english. every group of people is different and i’m constantly learning from them and adjusting my teaching technique as i make myself a better instructor. i’m proud of myself and i feel like i’ve grown up a lot in the past 1.5 years. but mostly, in the past 4 months. 

how long will i stay? i don’t know. i think until May then i would like to move on elsewhere. where? i’m not sure. phillipines, australia, indonesia, red sea, caribbean… the world is full of possibilities. and i guess i have a few options. as the time gets closer, i’ll see what feels right to me. 

so that’s what my life has been like lately. it’s been full of ups and downs but that’s life and it’s to be lived! my dad told me on the phone tonight, “life is to be felt, not just figured out”. i’ve been thinking about that the last couple hours and it’s true. we find ourselves where we need to be when we genuinely listen to ourselves. we know what’s right and we can feel if something is good for us or not. it’s important to feel the world around you. the way people make you feel, moments make you feel, things make you feel. and allow yourself to feel those things. there is space for feelings. and when we feel the world is when we’re more likely to figure it out. 

in 3 weeks i will be reunited with my family for the first time in 10 months on the island of Oahu in Hawaii. i have been counting down the days since i booked my ticket in May. so many things to do! i need a break, on another beach, on another island. i need a break from my paradise for awhile to put on a new lens and recharge my batteries with the people i love the most. 

love to you all,

lauryn.

i’ll leave you all with this happy photo of PSC at Go Eco Phuket’s Dive Against Debris on August 13th of this year. i was blessed to be a member of the committee this year and meet such charismatic and inspiring people. i’m positively thrilled to be a part of something so amazing!  

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